New Blog Address

Hi everyone!

New blog address for my regular readers. Yeah, I know there are hundreds of you :)

http://kcountry.net/blog/

26 weeks

Well what can I say. I haven't blogged in three months! A lot has changed since then. First off, I am no longer 10 weeks pregnant, I am 26 (and a bit). Obviously the nausea has mainly cleared up, although not till fairly recently. Even at 22 weeks I was still feeling it a bit. Even now I still find I get queasy pretty easily and MAN, I'm tired of it. The heartburn is atrocious, I take Zantac, and Tums on top of that to sleep, my lower back is a killer, I'm hungry all the time, and to top it all off, I got a call today from my doctor that my blood sugar is high, and I need to go back in for another gestational diabetes test. Oh, and my iron is low, which may explain why I have been so exhausted my ENTIRE pregnancy. Yeah. Let's just say it hasn't been a walk in the park. I really was hoping that by 20 weeks I could have a break and enjoy this pregnancy, but unfortunetly...no, that hasn't happened. I really actually find it sad, because with Athena I at least had quite a few weeks that I could enjoy the whole process without feeling miserable. With this pregnancy....let's just say the memories are going to need a lot longer to fade before I EVER want to do this again! I'd say my biggest beef at the moment is the heartburn, it's just so constant and neverending. Zantac REALLY helped for about 3 days and then it's slowly been going back to how it was. *sigh* But on the positive side.....the baby looks good and is doing well! We had an ultrasound and we are having another girl. I get another ultrasound October 7th, (our four year anniversery!) partly because I asked for it, and partly because they couldn't get a good look at her face on the first one. I am happy because it's fun to see and then they can reconfirm for me that it is a girl, and I will go ahead and paint her room. Of course despite all my complaining, all that matters is that she is healthy and born safely. I am looking forward to her birth more then I even did with Athena, because now I know how it feels to love another human being that God created in you, and it is the most amazing feeling ever. To love another human being truly more then yourself, doesn't happen until you have a child. Of course that is just my opinion. Plus I realize how fleeting those real newborn hours/days are, and this time I am going to do my best to hold on to them as long as I can! I love the different stages Athena has gone through, she is so fun right now, and yes, a lot of work too, but so fun, and I wouldn't wish her back to a baby, so now I get to start again with another one!

Maybe I'll get back to the bloggy world these next few months with fall and winter right around the corner. Jesse has been creating a new blog for me, so I've kind of been waiting on that. But I'm still waiting honey.....hint hint hint. :)

Here's to hoping for only 11 more weeks of heartburn!!

10 Weeks and........no bread.

In my house, the world as we know it ceases to exist when we run out of bread. Our world and meals revolve around bread. When I see that we have no bread, I go into crisis mode. That's how much we eat bread. Anyway, that's just a side note.

I remember when I was ten weeks pregnant with Athena, I wrote a blog post entitled, 10 weeks and a heartbeat! since that is the first time I heard it. Unfortunetly here in Peace, you don't get your first appointment till 12 weeks, so since I couldn't write a blog post entitled 10 weeks and a heartbeat! I had to entitle it, 10 weeks and......no bread. Get it? I am 10 weeks today. That was my first, "goal". Funny how you have time goals after a miscarriage. My next "goal" is 12 weeks and my first appointment. After that I will start to really relax about the whole thing. (I think!) I am starting to feel pregnant....maybe getting a bit of a stomach, (or maybe that's because I ate nearly a whole chocolate square dessert by myself in the last two days). Either way, I'm getting a bit of a stomach. The pills I take allow me to eat without throwing everything up, and every once and awhile I feel fairly normal, but not for long. I'm still slightly queasy 95% of the time, and super tired in the afternoons, but it's way better then feeling horribly nauseous and throwing up 4 times a day, so I'll take it.

I'm looking forward to going home for the month of June and having my Mom take care of me. You know, I'm 26 but it just never stops! I don't get to post very much because I bearly make it to Athena's naptime, and usually a minute after she is sleeping I am sleeping, and then she doesn't go to bed till 10, and by then I am so tired again I just want to fall into bed! So I don't have a lot of free time to myself without little hands being everywhere! And wow, 18 month tantrums.....are something to be reckoned with. That's another post!

For my blog readers

Well, since my poorly encrypted Facebook status lines are being busted left right and center, (Aunty Irene and Theresa!), I decided it was time to come clean and let my bloggy friends know, that I am pregnant, (again!) Eight weeks as of tomorrow. (Friday). I was going to try and wait till 12 weeks to tell the general world, but who am I kidding, another 4 weeks would have killed me. I already told my Mom I was going to start blogging about it, because I have been feeling like CRAP and I need an outlet. First off, I am very happy to be pregnant again. I had a miscarriage in January, had one cycle, and got pregnant, so it happened in half the amount of time as the first time, so that worked well with my impatient spirit. The first 2 weeks after I found out I was walking on eggshells, certain that I was going to have another miscarriage. I'm not saying I don't still think about it, because I do, and I wonder how I would manage emotionally if I had another one. However, I finally had to have a sit down with God, and let him remind me that what will be, will be, wether I worry the weeks away or if I don't, and no matter WHAT happens, he'll still be the same, so that's all that really matters. After that I worried a lot less, but I will still be glad when I can start feeling the baby kick and move! It's always fun too when you start feeling the movement.

I have been feeling so terrible the last 10 days, it's crazy. I maybe threw up a total of 5 times when I was pregnant with Athena, and this time it's been at least twice a day if not more. I lost 5 pounds in a little over a week because I could barely eat anything. Just looking in the fridge would make me run to the sink and throw up. I got acupuncture done twice...the first time didn't help, the second time he did more spots, and for the last 2 days I haven't thrown up. I still feel nauseous and can't eat a lot, but the nausea isn't as bad as before, and I'm not throwing up. I only hope it keeps getting better, or at least stays like this, because that's just awful! I told Jesse if there was ever a time to make me sign something saying I wanted to stop after 2 kids, it would be right now! It's like having a flu that never goes away, and you have no hope of it going away for weeks. YUCK!! I can hardly remember what it feels like to be hungry, or what it feel like to look forward to eating. When I do eat, I force it down because I know I should get something in my body, but I don't enjoy it, and then I spend the next half hour mentally keeping it down, and trying not to think about what I just ate.

I went to the doctor yesterday for some pills, and I JOKINGLY said, I sure hope I'm not having twins or triplets, (since the nausea is so much worse then the first pregnancy), and he thinks about it, and then slowly says, "Well, you can HOPE that your body is just reacting differently".....I'm like, WHAT!!?? I was kidding!!! I wasn't serious!!! I better not be having twins!!!! Haha. I have my bloodwork and class to go to on Monday, then my first true prenatal appointment is at 12 weeks, and I think they book the ultrasound right around then too, (I think), but I did my first trimester plus a bit in Red Deer last time, so I'm not exactly sure of what happens up here.

Well, so that is my, (our) news. Jesse has been surviving on peanut butter sandwhiches for 2 weeks now, since I can't bring myself to be around food to make supper, in fact that's all he ate today, for lunch and supper. Haha. So you know, if anyone wants to send relief food his way I'm sure he'd accept it. haha. Oh, and my due date is Dec.11th, but I'm hoping for another three week early baby, so that will make it a Nov. baby. I can HOPE!!

Tamara

Superstore VS. Baby

Athena used to love going shopping with me in her stroller. Well not anymore. Now she has realized it's actually way more fun to run around in a store and pull things off shelves, so why should she have to be strapped into a no fun stroller. We were in Calgary this past week, and since Jesse and Mom were going to pick out a new computer for Mom, they dropped me off at Superstore first. (Because honestly, is there anything more boring then looking at computer stuff? I don't think so, and I'm a hard core shopper). At first it was OK, I was looking for spring outfits for Athena, and so we headed for the kids clothes. It didn't take long and she was pulling at the straps, whining, wanting out. I gave in, because as long as she stayed close, I figured it would be OK. Fast forward five minutes - she found the sunglasses display, and promptly started dismantling the WHOLE thing. I raced over to intervene but not before she had two pairs of glasses clutched in each hand, with at least four pairs scattered across the floor. I had to try and mangle the glasses out of her death grip flailing hands without breaking them, and without stepping on the pairs littered across the floor. By now she's screaming full throttle, I am sweating like a pig, and wondering where I left my beating stick. I forced her back into the stroller, with her bucking, and arching her back, and screaming like I'm trying to kill her. It's actually not easy to get an 18 month old strapped into a stroller alone when they are doing everything in their power NOT to get strapped in. I called Jesse and somewhat angrily wondered, "HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO BE EXACTLY?" He could hear the screaming in the background, so he wisely said, coming right away honey, (Or something to that effect) So I just started walking, and eventually she calmed down, and by the time they got there to pick me up, she was a total angel again, and then it's hard to believe how bad she really was. So the lesson for today? Don't let your child out unless your prepared to do major battle. Because a whiny baby in a stroller is still better then a blow year eardrums tantrum throwing baby OUTSIDE the stroller.

Favorite new song.

Bring The Rain - Mercy Me.

I can count a million times,
People asking me how I can praise You, with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me, can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed, long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind to turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above,
because you are much greater than my pain.
You who made a way for me, suffering your destiny
So tell me, whats a little rain


Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

Drunk Rampage

There, that got your attention didn't it? Thought so. Well, I'm not drunk, haven't been for quite a few years, probably never will be again, but never say never right? If there's one thing I've learned with parenting so far, is you should never say, "My child would NEVER do that". Yeah right. So I think that applies to basically every facet in life. Never say never, because you don't really know what your capable of in the future. I suppose this blog is being written because I'm bored, couldn't think of anything to write about, and then my mind went off on rabbit trails, and this is the trail it stayed on. I do have issues with drunkeness. I will list some of those issues below.

1. First and foremost, God instructs against it. If that isn't a good reason to A. Stay away, and B. Not do it, I don't know what is. However, we obviously do many things every day that God advises against, and I do not think being drunk is any worse then the other things. IE. Slander, gossip, jealousy, discord, anger, and malicious intent. In fact most of the other things are far more hurtful to other people then, (most of the time) being drunk. Be that as it may, I'm pretty sure the almighty maker of the universe knows what He is talking about, so it's my number one point.

2. Drunk people do stupid things and make stupid decisions.

3. How many of us know alcoholics? Probably everyone knows someone. Is that person happy? No. Is that person productive? No. Is it really sad? Yes. What led to that point? I don't really think most people start drinking thinking they are going to get to the point where they can't control it, and always have to have alcohol in their system to function.

However, my beef isn't with alcoholics. I really feel sorry for those people and think they must have some deep underlying issues to get to that point. My blog is about the party it up drinking till I'm so hammered I can hardly walk every weekend type of lifestyle.......I guess I just don't get it. Here are the reasons I drank (when I did).

1. I felt lonely.
2. I wanted to be noticed.
3. I wanted to be accepted.
4. I wanted attention.
5. I wanted to be different then what I was.
6. I wanted to have fun.

The first five reasons are really really really bad reasons to drink. You go in with that kind of attitude, you are bound to make some really crappy decisions. The last reason I suppose isn't bad in and of itself. However, I have found the most "fun" I've ever had hasn't ever involved alcohol. (On a side note here: Every time I've spelt any form of alcohol so far, I've had to correct it with spell checker....CANNOT spell that word for the life of me!!)

It seems like some people can't seem to be in any kind of picture without an alcoholic drink in one hand. Like that is the epitome of fun. Really?

A. It's expensive.
B. You get crappy hangovers.
C. You throw up.
D. You wake up and remember vaguely what you did the night before, and say, oh shoot, it doesn't matter, because I had so much frickin FUN! (Who are you trying to kid here?) If you can hardly remember it, you must not have had that much fun.

Well, it's my blog so I can say it. I think drinking is stupid. If you say you drink because you like the taste.....well I suppose but everyone likes the taste of Coke. If it's taste your going for, have a Pepsi. I think the reason I hate drinking so much, is because so few people treat it responsibly. I realize some people do, and I actually don't have a problem at all with someone having a glass of wine after work, (hi Aunty Eleanor!) or a beer with their supper. That's great. But honestly, how many 15-30 years olds do you know that stop after one. Yeah, I couldn't think of anyone either. I also hate it because people act like it's the only way they can have fun. If you can only have fun, or, "be yourself" when you are drunk...you have a problem. I know, because I did.

I have never been to a family gathering with alcohol. Never, not once. But man do we have fun!
I love it that as a family we can stand to be together without all being in a haze, and not kill each other, or fight, or yell, or scream, or hate on each other. I think that says a lot for how my Grandparents raised their kids. It certainly sets a high standard for the rest of us to follow.

I realize that drinking is often a rite of passage that kids feel they have to go through, to be cool, or accepted, or try it out, what have you. I get it. I went through it too. But, I am happy to say, I don't need booze to be happy, and man I'm happy about that!! Our house is an alcohol free zone, partly because both me and Jesse honestly hate how it tastes, but a large part is because that's not the kind of lifestyle we choose to support in any form. :) What do you and your family do?